Space Police: The Final Fish Finger, an almost funny SciFi space comedy by David Blake

Author:David Blake [Blake, David]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Britcom Publishing
Published: 2018-02-07T08:00:00+00:00

Chapter Twenty One

ONCE THEY’D CLIMBED down off the roof, had shaken hands with the boy’s family and had been ushered into the double garage-sized cabin that their car was parked on top of, something dawned on Capstan that he probably should have picked up on a long time before that. As they gathered inside, he realised that they weren’t wearing navy blue wetsuits, diver’s masks and bright red flippers after all. What he’d assumed to be wetsuits was actually their skin, the flippers were their feet, and what he’d thought had been diver’s masks were what their faces just happened to look like. And as he let his mind ruminate on that hitherto unknown fact for a while, he and Dewbush were invited to take a seat around a rustic sort of a table that looked as if it was made of sun-bleached driftwood held together with different coloured lengths of fishing line.

Shortly afterwards they were both presented with dark ceramic earthenware cups into which tea was poured by the wife. When they’d established who wanted milk and sugar, and had each been given a large slice of chocolate gateaux, Capstan decided to do his best to ignore the strange physiques these humanoid creatures seemed to have and asked the boy’s father, ‘May I enquire how you learnt to speak English so well?’

‘I studied it at university,’ the weird looking man-thing began. ‘It was during that time when I went to live in the United Kingdom of America for my year’s work placement. But that must have been, what – thirty of your Earth years ago now.’

‘And what did you do when you were there?’ asked Capstan, continuing to make polite conversation whilst doing his best not to stare directly at his face.

‘I worked as a cleaner for Meanz Industries.’

‘So you’ve heard of Meanz Baked Beans then?’

‘Of course! I’m now their Health and Safety Manager. And as you can see,’ he said, as he stood up from the table to pad over to a cupboard on the wall just to the right of a sink, ‘one of the perks of the job is that we get just as many tins as we like!’ With that he opened up the cupboard door to reveal dozens of them, all stacked on top of each other.

‘Wow!’ said Dewbush, sitting beside Capstan, clearly impressed. Since the demise of what used to be called a “supermarket” back in the latter part of the 21st Century, it was rare to see any one product displayed in such numbers like that. However, that did at least explain why Capstan didn’t seem to think anything of it. He’d seen tins of baked beans stacked neatly on a shelf loads of times before, and probably just about every time he’d popped down to his local Safebusy’s. But that was before the popular chain store had gone the same way as Blockbusters and Woolworths, about three hundred and fifty years earlier.

But at least the subject of Meanz Baked Beans led

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